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In the popular discussion of gay sexuality, anal sex looms large. It is invoked to deny gay people equal rights. It is used to categorically ban them from donating blood. Gay men are labeled by type based on whether they prefer to give or receive it. A new study hopes to propose a more nuanced picture of what gay men actually do in bed.

In the Journal of Sexual Medicine , researchers from Indiana University and George Mason University surveyed nearly 25, gay and bisexual men in an effort to better understand how they experience sex. Did it involve kissing, cuddling, masturbation, oral sex, anal sex? Did it happen with a boyfriend, spouse, stranger, or sex worker?

Was it in a car, a home, a club? Were condoms used? The results: Despite the popular perception, "sexual behaviors involving the anus were least common," researchers found. By contrast, only 36 percent of men reporting receiving anal sex and 34 percent of men reporting giving it. Half of participants who engaged in anal sex employed a condom. The most common series of activities in the encounter—reported by 16 percent of men—involved "holding their partner romantically, kissing partner on mouth, solo masturbation, masturbating partner, masturbation by partner, and genital—genital contact.

When blood screeners ask men if they've ever had sex with another man, what do they mean? Though the U. This study suggests that many gay men are not even regularly engaging in anal sex, the sexual activity that puts them at greatest risk of disease transmission. When they are, many of them use protection. At the same time, almost half of straight women today will engage in anal sex.

If they do it with a man who also sleeps with men, they'll only be barred from donating blood for one year. Gay rights advocate Peter Tatchell has argued that blood donors ought to be treated as individuals, not sexualities. He suggests that eligibility questionnaires "be made more detailed for men who've had sex with men, in order to more accurately identify the degree of risk. The more we know about the way people really have sex, the harder it is to file straight and gay people into easy categories: one safe, the other risky; one natural, the other dirty; one in this hole, one in the other.

Picture this scenario: You take your kid to the park to have them run around and play. Naturally, they find a playmate and proceed to have a good time. The conversation goes great and the kids have a good enough time that you arrange a play date for them next week while you both chat again over coffee. Many people still associate tattoos with rebellion, anti-social behavior, free-spiritedness, and being less conscientious when they could just be a responsible fellow parent that you met in the park.